So last Friday I went to a horror movie double header with Garrison, Jason, and Andy...  For those of you who are wondering, this meant we went to see two movies in the same night.

White Noise - This is the first one we saw.  It’s about electronic voice phenomenon, the idea that the dead are communicating via radio waves.  Personally I think it’s about as much of a “real” phenomenon as a geocentric universe, but I wasn’t going to let that affect my experience (after all, if I’m going to start criticizing horror movies for being fictional I don’t know where I’ll stop).  However it didn’t matter, because the movie was pretty bad anyway.  The movie did manage to maintain a suspenseful feel, but that’s because they resorted to every cheap scare tactic in the movie making book (there were like eight shots of people looking into mirrors, for example).  This got me looking forward to the second movie.

Darkness - This one had a really creepy trailer.  Unfortunately, the sum of creepiness in the movie as a whole was approximately equal to the creepiness of the trailer.  Put another way, the movie was boring.  It obviously did well enough in Spain in 2002 that someone thought it would be worth redoing in English, but there was quite a lot lost in the translation apparently.  Note to future directors: if eighty percent of the dialog in your movie is delivered by a thirteen-year-old, make sure she can deliver those lines convincingly.

So, all said and done, I’d give White Noise a 4.5 out of 10, and I’d give Darkness a 1.5 out of 10 (yeah, it was that bad).

You love the Middle Ages, don’t you?!
             Sir, yes sir!
The concept of a geocentric universe gets you sexually excited, doesn’t it?!
             Sir, yes sir!
~The Family Guy