Stephanie and I are doing much better now than we were when I made my last post.  After twenty-four hours most of the hurt has gone away.  Thanks to everyone who’s sent me an e-mail or instant message, it means a lot to us.  I’m always amazed that anyone actually reads my blog.  I know of at least five or six people with blogs and I only have (make) time to read one of them with any frequency.  Of course that particular post was kind of advertised by my away messages and my mom’s e-mail, but still.

On a related subject, for anyone keeping track, these are my two most favorite pictures of August.

Today our puppy had to be put to sleep.  I have put up the last set of pictures on my photos page for your enjoyment.  Please excuse the blurriness of many of them.  I need to figure out how I managed to turn up the exposure time, and then turn it back down.

August, born (about) June 20, 2005, died today, at an age of twelve weeks.  She got very sick over the weekend and could barely breathe this morning.  We took her to the vet and they x-rayed her and found that her lungs were clouded and her heart was too big and was actually blocking air from getting to her lungs.  They think it is most likely a birth defect that would have continued to give her problems.  They kept her all day and gave her oxygen.  When they give a little dog oxygen, rather than using a mask, they put it in a mostly-closed (not air-tight) aquarium and stick the tube of oxygen into the top.  By evening she was not better and was in pain trying to breathe a few minutes after taking her away from the oxygen.  We did not even get a chance to take her back home and play with her.  The vet told us that there was very little they could do for her.  So I had to make the decision to let them put her to sleep.  It was such a difficult decision to make, even though I knew it was the humane and responsible thing to do.  But we had grown so attached to her.  I keep seeing in my mind the image of her in that aquarium full of oxygen this morning, looking at us with big puppy eyes, probably a little bit high, and knowing that she trusts us completely.  And then this evening I had to make the decision to end her life and I feel like I betrayed her when she was helpless to do anything about it.

My heart goes out to anyone who’s ever lost a child, because I can’t imagine how much more strongly you must feel everything I feel now for just a puppy.  I’ve lost grandparents before, but losing someone who looks up to you as a parent (even if it is just a puppy) has an entirely different kind of emotional pain associated with it.  You may be reading this and thinking I’m overreacting; I probably would have thought that if I read something like this in someone else’s blog a few months ago.  This is really hard emotionally and I never would have expected it to be so difficult.

We’ve got a new puppy!  Her name is August.  I put a set of pictures up on my photos page.  Check them out, she’s super cute. :)

This Saturday Stephanie and I are getting a puppy!  It’s at my parents’ house right now.  Here’s a picture of Stephanie playing with her.  What Stephanie really wanted was a Norfolk Terrier or a Yorkshire Terrier.  We don’t know for sure what kind of puppy she is, but from looking at a book that has pictures of puppies of every breed of dog, we’re pretty sure that she is predominantly one of those two, which is amazing! :-)

We were thinking about names for her tonight.  I personally suck at naming things.  Last Valentine’s Day I built Stephanie a bear at Build-A-Bear Workshop.  When you’re done building your bear, you go to a computer and enter information, including the name of the bear.  I sat at that machine for at least thirty minutes.  I finally settled on “Mr. Hugs.”  Meanwhile about ten kids came through the computer terminals, thinking of names just fine.  They probably wondered what this old guy was doing just sitting at the computers in Build-A-Bear workshop.  And their parents were probably very unnerved by it too.

Back to the topic of puppy names.  We have narrowed it down to (in no particular order): August, D’arcy, and Pepper.  August because we are getting her in August, and because we started dating and got engaged in August.  D’arcy because: a) it is the name of a member of my favorite band (D’arcy Wretzky, bass player of The Smashing Pumpkins), and b) it is the name of Stephanie’s favorite male character in her favorite book (Mr. D’arcy from Pride And Prejudice).  And Pepper because Stephanie likes the idea of using the name of a spice/herb, and this was our mutual favorite.