You may recall seeing this photo of a 2.5 L Coca-Cola bottle that I took in Mexico about six months ago:

You may even recall my caption: Why don’t they make the two-liter bottles look like this in America?

Well, now they do.  So I can say I CALLED IT!  Cue the balloons and ticker tape!

The big controversy in the local news today is that Concord Mills Mall (which Wikipedia says Charlotte Business Journal says is the state’s largest tourist attraction) has decided not to renew the lease on Free Market Warrior, a kiosk that sold conservative and anti-Obama bumper stickers and t-shirts.  I’ve never actually seen the kiosk in question, since I avoid the mall whenever I can.  But I checked out their website after hearing about it on the radio this morning, with the intention of making a blog post saying something to the effect of “Look, of course you’re going to get kicked out of the mall if you sell this and this and this.”  But I can’t find anything that really seems that bad.  The site has two different lists of items they were told not to sell.  I’m not sure which is canonical.  In either case, I know I’ve seen anti-Bush bumper stickers that were just as bad (though I don’t know if they were ever sold in the mall), and you can find much more offensive (though non-political) stuff at HotTopic.  Maybe the fact that it’s a kiosk and you see it just by walking by, instead of having to go into a store, has something to do with it?  I don’t know, I’m not a mallologist.

Oh well.  I guess all I’m saying is that I don’t think they deserved to be kicked out of the mall, based on the items I see on their website.

I received an e-mail forward today that contained something I felt had to be pointed out.  So I took a screenshot and added an annotation.  See if you can find it.

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/hot_new_video_game_consists

It’s a satirical news story from The Onion, about a video game called “Close Range.”  I would summarize it more, but I think it’ll be funnier for you if I don’t.

Over the weekend I finished playing through Assassin’s Creed, and I felt compelled to say a little something about it here.  The game was very polarizing to reviewers when it came out last year—most either really liked it or really hated it.  Those who hated it said it was incredibly repetitive.  Gabe said on Penny Arcade that if you were playing it like you were trying to complete it as fast as possible (like a reviewer on a deadline), you would hate it.  All that said, I really liked the game.  It took me over two months to complete it, but that is because I didn’t play it continuously.

Two things I want to discuss.  First, I’m surprised the game wasn’t more controversial.  It is set in Crusades-era middle east, and one of the subtasks is to assassinate various Templars who are stationed around the game world.  Which is to say (if you want to exaggerate and misrepresent), you must kill the Christians to gain experience.  Add to that the fact that many of the assassination targets are Muslims (who aren’t known for being open-minded to such things), and it seems like something that would have gotten more attention from the Jack Thompsons of the world.  I guess Ubisoft was afraid of that too, because there is a disclaimer everytime the game is started, saying something to the effect of “this game was developed by a diverse group representing different religious faiths.”  But I guess either it worked or people just didn’t notice the game, because I never heard of any controversy.

Point the second:  the ending to the game was dumb.  Spoiler etiquette prevents me from discussing it, but it was bad.  In fact, to call it an ending would be to imply that there was some type of conclusion.  It would be more accurately called “the thing that happened before the credits abruptly started playing.”  I think they want me to be intrigued and eagerly anticipate a sequel.  I’d like to play a sequel, but not because of the way the game ended stopped.

Sometimes I wish that I had a really crappy car.  ‘Why?’ you ask?  Because then when someone is tailgating me, particularly when I am already going 5-9 mph over the speed limit and there is a perfectly good lane to my left not being used, I could just slam on the brakes so that they would hit me.  After all, it would be their fault (who’s to say I didn’t see a deer about to run out onto the highway?).  They would learn the hard way not to tailgate, their insurance would go up, and they’d get a ticket.  Maybe they’d even be over the legal blood-alcohol limit and spend the night in jail.  Jackpot.  As for me, I’d just be out a crappy car that I didn’t care about to begin with.  I guess if I did it too many times the police or insurance companies might catch on.  Oh well, it’s not like I’d actually do that.  I’d probably react much more passive-aggressively.  Perhaps by writing a blog post about the tailgating incident.

This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time.  It’s Count von Count from Sesame Street, singing a song in which the word “count” has been bleeped out, with hilarious results.  (The video’s pretty old—maybe everyone has already seen this and they just forgot to tell me about it.)

While scanning through my junk mail folder in Gmail, I noticed a new spam tactic: directly insulting the reader.

I’m curious if this is effective.  I find it hard to believe that anyone would ever read mail that is obviously spam nowadays, but these people must be making money somehow or they’d stop sending this stuff.  My guess is that anything which stands out is likely to be effective in piquing readers’ curiosity, much like the “I love you” e-mail virus from several years ago.  But only if other spammers don’t copy the tactic.

Some astute individual has probably told you at some point that Eskimos have dozens of words for “snow,” whereas English-speaking individuals only have one.

They lie! (Warning: link goes to a PDF file.)

Also on Wikipedia.

As someone who works in an office environment, I run into a lot of people with Dilbert comic strips tacked or taped to various cubicle surfaces.  After deciding that there must be something to Dilbert, I started reading the strips (posted online daily).  After trying for about two months to figure out why people find Dilbert entertaining, I’ve given up.  In fact I’ve come to the simple conclusion that Dilbert is not funny.  At best, it is highly overrated.  I guess if you draw 365.25 strips per year you are bound to hit on something funny sooner or later, but I’m not sitting through crap like this to get there.

you heard me