Now that 2007 is then rather than now, it’s time to look at some of the things that happened then.

The year began with a review of 2006.  Much like the one you are reading now!  By the way, I apparently write like a girl.  I got a chance to eat lunch with my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss’s boss.  I may have miscounted the number of bosses but it’s something like that.  I named a new medical condition, frigidamanus supermus.  Doctors and scientists are still trying to catch up.  My niece—only 6.5 months old at the time—learned to play the ukulele, with yours truly as an instructor.  Around Easter, Stephanie took a shortcut to the bottom of a staircase.  She saved some time but broke her foot in the process.  I made some observations last summer, and now everyone thinks I’m a racist.  Oops.  We bought a house, and just five months later got around to posting some photos of said dwelling.  I theorized a bit on human eyes, and soon reported additional evidence in a follow-up post.  My right eye dominates both of yours.

Then of course there was the big news.  Stephanie has a parasite living in her abdomen, which we found out lacks sufficient organs needed to be called a he.  So when she joins us in March, hopefully her father will be up to the task of raising her.

Some other things happened last year too.  The sixth anniversary of 9/11 occurred, and I posted my account of that fateful day for all to read.  I also visited the top-left corner of the lower forty-eight, where I worked with some aeroplanists.  Shortly after that I got a year older, something which unfortunately happens every year.  Hopefully scientists get around to inventing immortality pills soon.

Aside from that, I made several posts about things that I spend time with.  These included some video game reviews, as well as some other video-game-related posts.  I also geeked out on Lost for a couple posts.  Who or what is Jacob!?  I think he’s Superman, and Lost Island is his new Fortress of Solitude.  That’s gotta be it.  Let’s see, what else...  I made several posts regarding software development, and a couple posts to make the internets better.  I also posted some comments on pop culture in what I am calling the “OMG dju hear” series.  Expect to see more in that series from time to time.

If you like to look at other people’s photos, three photo albums were posted this year.  Feel free to check those out.

Lastly, I have to mention the series of five posts where I dug up my old drawings from middle school.  I was apparently pretty demented.

Enjoy 2008.

Over the weekend (Saturday in fact!) yours truly completed his twenty-sixth lap around the sun.  The only thing I know of that changes on your twenty-sixth birthday is that you can no longer be drafted.  Of course, they aren’t drafting anyone nowadays, but if they started doing it again I’d be safe.  Unless of course Congress changed the rules, which I believe they are perfectly capable of doing.  In any case, I’m continuing to get older.  Somehow on this year’s birthday I actually felt more than a day older.  It seems absolutely impossible that a full year has passed since I passed the quarter-century mark.  And it’s not that I haven’t done anything all year.  I guess it’s that I have done a lot of “grown-up” stuff in the last year.  I bought a house, for example.  I went on a business trip.  I started making mortgage payments.  I filed my own taxes.  And the big one, of course, is that I’m going to be a father in four months.  A dad.  This guy is going to be responsible for the life of another human being.  I mean, we are talking about a person who not only created a drawing of a guy in a giant toilet riding a turd, but he posted said turd cowboy onto the various internets.  That’s just craziness.

Maybe, just maybe—with the help of her seemingly sane mother—my daughter will turn out to be more than a demented sociopath.

Yee-Ha!

Well the calendar companies have again tricked us all into shelling out even more money for astrological tables which focus on the earth’s location relative to the sun.  So according to an ancient tradition which dates back nearly a year, I will review some of the adventures I have been through with you, faithful reader of my boring blog.

Let’s see...  there was that time I got ripped off on eBay, although technically that happened in 2005.  But I didn’t blog about it until 2006 so it still counts.  Then I critiqued some xenophobic e-mail, shortly before I influenced the direction of American television.  I listed a few of my favorite things, for all to see and marvel at.  Later Stephanie interviewed for and was subsequently offered a job.  But in between those two events, we ate a year-old pastry.  Once we had another source of income we bought a new car.  A few months later I bought a new amp and rocked super hard.  I built the most complex sand castle I’ve ever built, but sadly it could not stand up to the incoming tide.  As the summer was winding down, I let you all in on twenty-six video games that I think are totally cool, before letting you in on a little secret: this is where I work.  Next, I became an uncle at the same time that Stephanie became an aunt, when our new niece began to independently consume some of the extra oxygen in the atmosphere.  Stephanie made a list, focusing on movies, and then I jumped on board the MySpace bandwagon thing.  Just when I was starting to feel like a cool young dude, I got a year older.  But at least I won a hot blonde girl bean bag chair to ease my aging back.  To finish up the year I finished a project that was two years in the making, before being robbed by some stupid teenagers.

Nothing changes on New Year’s Day
—Bono (greatest rock star, humanitarian, philanthropist, and savior ever to call himself all of those things)

Today marks one quarter of one century that yours truly has graced this planet with his presence.  In honor of this momentous occasion, I will now discuss things that I pledge, as an aging person, not to say in the coming twenty-five years.

The problem with America today is ...
I do not believe that getting older means you’ve suddenly figured everything out.  Do you know how many topics have been identified as the problem with America?  Seven hundred and thirty four different topics, according to statistics I just made up.  I think it is plain to see that the world is very complex.  I won’t let myself fall under the assumption that the world is constantly degrading.  If anything I think they are improving (despite what the news tells you).

Kids these days have it too easy.
You may have also heard this stated like this:  “When I was a kid I had to walk to school.  In the snow.  Barefoot!  Uphill!!  BOTH WAYS!!!”  It is a tired cliché, and old people seem to jump on it left and right.  Political candidates have used it to win votes for a very long time.  Yeah, technology is making a lot of things easier (and isn’t that what we want anyway?), but there will always be new challenges to kids that their elders didn’t even have to worry about.  Like how my grandparents didn’t have to worry about getting germs from black people when using a public water fountain, but my generation is constantly assailed with negro germs.

The last good band was The Smashing Pumpkins, the last entertaining video game was Super Mario 64, and the last funny movie was Happy Gilmore.
This is a big one, and I refuse—I repeat: refuse!—to succumb to the notion that somehow I happened to be fifteen years old when all the best bands, movies, TV shows, and video games came out.  I’m not sure what causes people to think this way as they age, but I think we have all seen it time and time again.  I’m not saying I will be one of those old people who tries to pretend he’s one of the cool kids (like that guy who graduated high school two years before you, but he would still hang out in the parking lot after school, and as far as you know he still does).  I’m just saying I won’t act like I lived in some kind of magical golden age where nothing sucked.  I guess people only remember the things they like, and they replay those things in their mind over and over.  When these memories—ripened into nostalgia by years of rumination—are placed against fresh, unfiltered new media...  well, there is no contest.  In the coming twenty-five years I will attempt to be conscious of the fact that things might not have been as good as I remember them.  I have already started this process.  For instance, as much I would like to, I will not assert that Animaniacs is somehow more sophisticated that SpongeBob SquarePants, or that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has a better premise than Pokémon.  I think only the eight-year-old me and a modern eight-year-old could take up that argument.  Presumably with nunchucks and Pokéballs.

Well there you have it.  Originally the list was longer, but there was a lot of redundancy.  Basically everything boiled down to “new stuff sucks” and “there is no hope for our kids.”  I will strive to keep these campaign goals, and in twenty-five years I will present a status report, evaluating my performance in achieving these goals.  Stay tuned!

Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?”  For it is not wise to ask such questions.
—Ecc 7:10

Last Sunday was our first anniversary (it’s is crazy to think it’s been a year already!).  We spent the weekend at my uncle’s mountain house on Roan Mountain.  It was a nice break from Charlotte.  It was also my first time there since almost six years ago.  I put up a set of pictures from the trip, for all who may care to see them.  One thing I need to comment on is the year old cake that we ate for our anniversary.  Amazingly, it was still moist and tasted good.  Stephanie’s mom did a good job of wrapping it up somehow so that it didn’t get freezer burn.  I was pretty scared before taking the first bite.

Well I thought I had more to say about the trip but I guess not.. enjoy the photos!

We got older but we’re still young

I never really care much when the Earth once again passes through an arbitrarily chosen point in space relative to the sun.  And the ensuing celebration of our ability to count backwards from ten immediately before counting one number higher has never really done much for me.  So it should come as no surprise to the reader that I do not care to resolve things simply because I have to buy a new calendar.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you do make such resolutions.  It just means that I’m better than you.  That’s a sarcastic joke.  I’m not sure if everyone will pick up on that without asterisks. ***.

Now, one thing that I do tend to do at this time of year is reflect on events that are related to one another only because the most significant digits in their date happen to be the same number.

March 3:  Developed a method to overcome static electricity.  Although that method seemed like too much work and I have started using Jake’s method:  bang metal stuff with your knuckles or elbow, since you don’t have very many nerve endings there to feel the shock.
April 2:  I got married.  2005 will most likely be the only year I’ll be able to say that.  So I’d say that’s pretty important.
April 3-10:  Honeymoon in Hawai’i.  The most amazing place I’ve ever been.  I’m jealous of the Lostaways, who get paid a ton of money to live and work there.  I probably won’t be back for a very very long time, if ever.
May 28:  Almost got in a fight at Carowinds.  Fortunately, we survived.
July 27:  Made a difference ...by using large cutting tools.
August 6:  We got a puppy!  It was Stephanie’s first pet ever (fish don’t count), and my first pet that was actually mine and not my parents.
September 2:  Revealed my volleyball skills.  Turns out, I’m not too good.
September 12:  We lost August.  That was definitely a growing experience.  I didn’t realize just how attached to that little puppy I had become. :(
October 4:  We got a new dog.  Punky will never replace August, but we love her just the same.
November 14:  Brought free speech to the internet.  By giving you the ability to comment on my blog posts, I empowered you in a way never before possible.  Al Gore probably never thought the internet would turn into a medium for open communication and sharing of ideas back when he invented it.
December 16:  Sustained a leg wound in The War On Christmas.  Okay I made that one up.
December 24:  Found out that I am going to be an uncle soon.  Stephanie’s older sister Emily is expecting!  If age were measured in generations rather than years, I guess this would signify that I’m about to turn one, and Steph’s parents are about to turn two.

PS: If year is a nonprimitive type with overloaded operators, ++year is more efficient than year++.  That’s also true for primitives if you’re using a terrible compiler.  :)

Well the year 2004 is over and 2005 is now here.  2004 has been a pretty big year for me--I graduated college, got my first real job, moved to a new city, lived alone for the first time, and most importantly, got engaged to Stephanie.  Now 2005 looks to be a big year for me as well, with a wedding coming up in April followed by a week in Hawai’i. :)  Then I get to be a newlywed, which according to MTV means that cameras watch whenever you eat tuna.  Or something like that.

So other things that I’ve been up to during the Christmas break include watching the first two The Lord of the Rings movies (Special Extended Editions of course), in preparation for watching the four-hours-and-ten-minutes-long The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: Special Extended Edition.  I don’t think I’ll manage to do it in one night.

My parents decided to get me a radar detector for my birthday, as I seem to have trouble slowing my car down as evidenced by three speeding tickets in four years.  Right now I think I’m actually driving slower with it there, just because it would be really embarrassing to get a ticket immediately after getting a radar detector.

The other day Stephanie and I got engagement photos taken at Glamour Shots, and I am very ashamed to say as a heterosexual male that this is not the first time I’ve been to that place.. although this time was not nearly as obnoxious as the other time I was there.  It was very weird.. for starters, the lady taking the pictures was like five-foot-one and probably weighed about seventy-five pounds, and she had to keep standing on this chair to take pictures at eye level, then she’d get down and fling the chair about three feet to the side to get another angle and climb back onto it.  It looked like she was doing step aerobics or something.  Then there were some strange poses, she was like “Kip you’re going to like this one.  I want you to sit like this” and she sits on a stool-type thing facing to the side with her legs together, then she gets up and I’m like “okay” and sit down.  Then she says to Stephanie “Now you sit on his lap” and she’s like “okay” and starts to sit and the lady’s like “no, facing each other” and we’re like “...okay..”  So we do that, and she’s like “Get closer!  You aren’t close enough, get closer to each other!  You look like you’re afraid the other is going to bite!”  And I’m thinking “maybe we signed up for the wrong type of pictures... we’re going to give these to our parents here!”  As it turned out, the pictures she took like that were only of our faces.  Then we got to purchasing the pictures, and I knew what to expect.  Even though we had a coupon for a free sitting and a free 8x10, you still have to pay a bunch of money.  Technically we could have walked out with just one 8x10, but we wanted a picture to give each of our parents.  And if you want more than one picture, the cheapest you’re getting out of there for is $200.  But the way the pricing scheme is set up, you can pay $210 for two pictures, or $200 for five pictures.  Of course the first price we were quoted was something like $750 and we just kinda laughed.  If we wanted any pictures in greyscale or sepia, they charge you ten dollars to hit that button in Photoshop.  What I would have really liked them to do is let me go online and download the super-high resolution digital image that they mess with in Photoshop (considering that you can get like two foot tall prints, they must be at least five megapixel to look decent).  Of course they won’t let you do that, because they own the copyright on the pictures.  It’s probably illegal to scan the pictures and make duplicates of any of them, but I’m going to do it anyway.  Take that copyright whores!  Speaking of digital images, I got a digital camera for Christmas (like that one but just 4 megapixel) and I’ll probably add some kind of photos section to my website when I get time.  I also got a huge memory card (512 MB) so that I can take lots of pictures in Hawai’i, which can hold about 250 images at 4 megapixel.  My cousin said that the guy at Best Buy told him that the number of megapixels doesn’t really mean anything.  That’s like saying the weight of your car doesn’t affect your gas mileage.

I think I’ve written enough for now.  If you want a good look back on 2004, you should check out Maddox’s The eleven worst songs of 2004.  You may not want to do so if you are at work though...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah
    ~Bono

This is the first post made the “easy way”; that is to say, without requiring an ftp client.  Now I’ll be able to make a post from anywhere with internet access!

So as of nine-something this morning I completed my twenty-third trip around the five billion year old thermonuclear bomb you might refer to as “the sun.”  As usual, I didn’t really feel any different than the day before.  Plus the only people I know in Charlotte are the people I work with, and I didn’t tell anyone there that it was my birthday today.  I already celebrated my birthday with my friends in Raleigh last weekend.. Stephanie got me Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind on DVD (great great movie..) and Garrison got me season 1 of Upright Citizen’s Brigade (which is way more hilarious than I remembered it being when it was on the air).  This weekend I’m heading home to celebrate my birthday with my family.

So at work I have this cabinet thing in my cubicle that’s like five feet high with translucent plastic sides (except the door which is opaque).  The plastic sides are made up of kind of a grid.  I decided I’d made that grid into a chess board, so last night I found a chess pieces font and created this chessboard.  Except that image is about one-tenth scale, the original was 300dpi and each image was 2 7/8 inches wide, so the whole board was a 46 megapixel image!  Of course it was a two-color image, so memory-wise it wasn’t too big..  But it took eleven sheets of paper to print it.  Anyway I stayed an hour late after work to put it up (each square had to be individually placed).  I’d like to take a picture of it because it looks super-cool, but I’m pretty sure taking photographs is against workplace policy (I know it was a big no-no at IBM).

Since Garrison explained to me that the italicized quote is kind of how everyone does blog postings, I think I’m gonna start doing it, at least some of the time.

And that’s about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you’re twenty-three