Last week I came across Ian’s Shoelace Site, which describes several ways of tying your shoes. It turns that there are several more ways of doing it than they teach you as a kid. The “Ian Knot” is a much faster and easier way of tying the standard shoelace knot.  And the “Ian’s Secure Knot” produces a secure knot (it won’t easily come undone through the day), but it’s better than the traditional double knot because you can still easily untie it by pulling the loose ends. I’ve been using these for a week now and it’s a pretty nice timesaver that I thought I’d share with everyone else.

How to tell if Kip will hate a television program: ask yourself, “does this show feature amateurs doing some kind of performance, after which they are critiqued by three judges, one of whom is foreign and mean?”

If the answer is yes, then Kip will hate the show.

Random fact: Nike size 10 and Adidas size 11 are almost exactly the same size.

I learned something new about databases this week.  Perhaps I should have already known this, but it surprised me, so I have decided to share with the small segment of the world that reads this blog.  In the past, I’ve always done database table management (i.e. creating/dropping tables or columns) through a GUI (like Management Studio for SQL Server, or phpMyAdmin for MySQL).  In these tools, it is very easy to insert a new column in the middle of a table, and it never occurred to me that this was a big operation.  This week, I had to write a script that would perform my changes to a table on a customer database.  It turns out that the only way to put add a new column to the middle of a table1 is to:

1. Create a temporary table, with the columns in the order you want.

2. Insert everything from your original table into the new table.

3. Drop the original table.

4. Rename the temporary table to the name of the original table.

5. Recreate any indexes and constraints that existed on the original table.

On a very large table, this is quite a lengthy operation!  But if you just add the new column to the end of the table, you can do that in a single SQL statement, and it runs quite quickly.  And the fact is that if your code relies on the columns being in a particular order, you are doing something wrong.  (Fortunately, I knew enough that I got that part right.)

Lately we have been getting Emma into a bedtime routine.  Ostensibly, this is to teach (condition?) her into going to sleep easily at night, provided the routine is observed.  In actuality, she doesn’t go to sleep much more consistently than before the routine.  But that’s not really what I came here to write about.  Part of Emma’s bedtime routine is for daddy to read her a story.  (Literacy for the win!)  Tonight I tackled Horton Hears A Who, one of her two Dr. Seuss books (which are by far her longest bedtime stories).  I noticed while reading the book that Dr. Seuss must have pronounced “mayor” as a one-syllable word, a homophone to “mare,” whereas I pronounce it as two syllables, rhyming with “conveyor.”  I’m not sure if I pronounce it differently because I live in a different region, or because the pronunciation has shifted since the book was written in 1954, or both.  (Contrary to what your grade school teachers probably tried to burn into your head, English is a constantly evolving language, and the accepted pronunciation and even meaning of words varies by region and changes over time.)

Here is an example of what I’m talking about from Horton Hears A Who:

There aren’t any Whos!  And they don’t have a Mayor!
And we’re going to stop all this nonsense!  So there!

And here is one more example, which is even odder to my ear:

“So, Horton, please!” pleaded that voice of the Mayor’s
“Will you stick by us Whos while we’re making repairs?”

It is weird to read because “mayor” is used for a rhyme several times in the book, and if I read it so that it doesn’t rhyme it sounds really weird.  In fact, I tend to pronounce the word that is rhymed with mayor (i.e. “there”) as two syllables.

I guess I’m not really going anywhere with this, it was just something I noticed and thought I’d point out.  Other than mayor/mare thing, I didn’t notice any other rhyming problems.  In one place, I think “grocery” must be pronounced as a three-syllable word in order to have the intended rhythm, although I (and most people I know) typically pronounce “grocery” as something like “groshry.”  Oh well, people still consider Shakespeare great poetry, even though many of his rhymes no longer rhyme, so I guess it doesn’t necessarily spell doom.

Behold!  The original utterance of “That’s what she said,” from a 1992 “Wayne’s World” skit on Saturday Night Live, predating The Family Guy by seven years, and The Office by thirteen years.

That is all.

I was looking for a listing of the broadcast schedule for the Beijing Olympics that begin tonight, and I had trouble finding anything in a format that was close to what I wanted.  Fortunately, as a programmer, I am used to taking existing data and manipulating it into a format that I want, with the help of a regular expression or two.  The idea was to have something very compact that I could print out, that would be useful when deciding what to record on our DVR.  I figured I’d share what I made.

• 2008 Olympics Schedule in PDF format (probably your best bet)

• 2008 Olympics Schedule in Microsoft Word format

• 2008 Olympics Schedule in ASCII text format (not very pretty)

A few notes:

• Schedule is subject to change.  If it does, blame NBC and China.

• I used data from TeamUSA.org because it was the closest format I found to what I actually wanted.  If it is wrong, blame them.

• All times are correct for the east coast and most are correct for the west coast.  Otherwise, I’ll quote the source data: For NBC primetime and late night, all times listed are ET/PT.  NBC weekday daytime show airs at same time in all time zones.  For USA, MSNBC and CNBC all time listed are ET.  For Oxygen all times listed are ET/PT.

• The data is sorted by air date, to make it easier to pick what to Tivo in the next 24-hours.  If you’re trying to find when a certain event occurs this probably isn’t the format you want.

• The data is very compressed because it was intended to be printed.  Through the magic of columns and margins I got it to fit on just two pages.  I wanted to make it compact, because everything I’ve found online is either a huge spreadsheet or a huge list.

• I have omitted the listings for events streaming from NBCOlympics.com because this was intended to help with DVRing.

• I have omitted the Telemundo listings because I don’t speak Spanish.

• I have omitted the Universal HD listings because they all said “24 hour coverage.”  No need to repeat that every day.  (The listings for USA were almost as vague with 12-hour blocks, but they at least listed the events that would be shown.)

• I’ve omitted NBC Olympics Basketball and Soccer channels because: 1) it is pretty obvious what they air; 2) I don’t know if we get them; and 3) if we do I still don’t have any desire to watch basketball or soccer.

• Be sure to watch in the HDs if you can.  6.75 times more pixels FTW!

I didn’t hold the highest opinion of Time Warner Cable before, but lately they’ve sunk to a new low.  They want to start introducing bandwidth caps on users but they can’t do this for existing customers who signed up for unlimited internet.  So what do they do?  They offer a new “deal” where you can get cable, internet, and digital phone service for a “locked-in rate” for a year.  Buried in the fine print is the fact that you’d also be signing up for a bandwidth cap.  Even worse, the afore-mentioned locked-in rate requires you to sign a contract for a year of service.  So if you found out after the fact that your bandwidth was capped, you’d have to pay a $150 early-termination fee to get out of the contract.

What is even more ridiculous is that the limit is set at 20GB per month.  When I first read about the 20GB limit, I thought surely that is per day.  That I could live with.  The only way you’re likely to use 20GB a day is if you’re downloading torrents constantly (which I still say is none of their business—courts have already ruled that the ISP is not responsible for what users do on their network).  But 20GB a month is very easy to reach even if you’re not pirating anything, especially if you watch TV online, or if you use VOIP (i.e. Vonage, Skype).  It’s almost as if Time Warner’s internet department has some financial incentive to limit competition from Time Warner’s cable TV and digital phone departments!  No, that’s just crazy talk.

I’ve come up with a very simple solution to the problem of browser-cached CSS files.  What I mean by this is: when you update the CSS which manages your website’s presentation, it will take a while before some visitors actually see those changes.  The reason, of course, is that browsers (this is at least true of IE and Firefox) will cache CSS files pretty aggressively, without checking very often to see if they have been updated.  Usually refreshing the page will solve this, but most visitors aren’t going to care enough to do this.  Meanwhile, your site will look pretty broken to them (especially if you’ve done something like styled a list so that it looks like a horizontal toolbar instead of a bulleted list, for example).

So here’s the very simple solution.  Add the following rule to your root .htaccess file:

      RewriteRule ^(.*)\.[\d]\.css$ $1.css [L]

I’m assuming that you have a common include file or template or something which prints things like the page header.  If so, whenever you update your CSS file (say, style.css), you update the link tag in your header to use style.0.css.  This will look to the browser like it is a different file from style.css, so it will download it again.  But Apache is really just loading the same CSS file through the magic of URL rewriting—you’re just ensuring that the user picks up your recent changes.  You can repeat the process the next time you tweak your CSS, just change the header to style.1.css and so on.

Over the weekend—while I was back home for my brother’s wedding (some pictures will likely come soon)—I noticed that the organic milk my mom has started buying has a really long shelf life.  The carton I was pouring milk from, for example, didn’t expire for well over a month.  I was curious why this was the case so I did a little research and it seems that this milk has been treated with ultra-high-temperature (UHT) processing, rather than regular pasteurization.  From what I’ve read on Wikipedia, it seems that UHT milk could actually sit at room temperature for months without going bad, and in Europe it’s actually sold unrefrigerated.  Apparently they sell it refrigerated here because Americans wouldn’t buy unrefrigerated milk in test markets.

I couldn’t find a consensus as to why organic milk is UHT processed, though.  Some people said it was because “organic cows” aren’t given antibiotics, so UHT must be used to be sure all bacteria are killed.  Another said organic milk is typically shipped from further away, so they have to use UHT or it would be about to expire by the time it got to the store.  I’m not sure which is the real reason and I don’t feel like doing any more research.

Anyway, I thought that was an interesting fact I’d share with the class.