What is the deal?  Tonight, Kip and I were stopping by BJ’s to pick up milk on our way home from church, and they were closed.  It was 8:30 in the pm, and they are usually open until at least 9 pm if not later.  That wasn’t the part that annoyed me though.  I don’t have a problem with businesses closing early, I have a problem with businesses closing early and not announcing to their customers in some form of LARGE sign saying that they are closed at this time and for this reason.  But no, BJ’s did not do this courtesy for their customers.  Instead they had an employee stand at the closed and locked automatic doors and yell at you that the store was closed.  Which brings me to the real reason for this rant.  I do not, and I will repeat, DO NOT appreciate being yelled at by a sales person, whose sole job is to satify the customer, for something that I was not previously informed of, like the closing time of a store prior to its normal time of closing.  And more to the point, it was the way that she informed me of their closing.  I walked up to the automatic doors and when they didn’t open, I began to search for a reason as to why they didn’t open, like the aforementioned sign.  The employee proceeded to stare at me, and then shouted “WE’RE CLOSED” very angrily and slowly I might add, as if I were currently trying to pry the automatic doors open with my bare hands while wearing my church clothes like some crazed lunatic.  As I walked away it occurred to me that tomorrow is a holiday and that could be the reason for the early closing.  But as I got back in the car with Kip, we realized that tomorrow is a holiday, but not one of the major ones like Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve or President’s Day Eve.  All of those holidays might merit leaving early to attend a party of function of some kind.  But who really goes to a Martin Luther King Jr. Eve party???  I mean, it can’t really be a holiday as I have to work tomorrow and so does Kip.

I just watched that video of Kramer flipping out after being heckled by some black audience members.  I know it’s week-old news but I’ll comment anyway.  So I guess these guys had been getting on his nerves the whole evening and he wanted to make fun of them in a shocking way, but he clearly went a little far.  In the subsequent apology on Letterman, a lot of the audience was laughing at first—understandably, they probably thought it was a bit, since most of Dave’s audience is probably people on vacation who hadn’t heard the news yet.  I find it ironic that the apology happened there because Jerry Seinfeld was on that night, so he was again riding Jerry’s coattails.

What is funny (to me, anyway) is that there was an episode of Seinfeld that was actually about hecklers, where Jerry went to where a heckler worked and started heckling him while he was doing his job.  Maybe that’s what Kramer should have done instead of dropping n-bombs.

Well I thought I’d have more to say about this topic when I started typing this, but I’m realizing that I really don’t care what someone I’ve never met says to someone I’ve never met in a city I’ve never been to.  So I’ll just leave you with a funny parody of the event to watch.

Today marks one quarter of one century that yours truly has graced this planet with his presence.  In honor of this momentous occasion, I will now discuss things that I pledge, as an aging person, not to say in the coming twenty-five years.

The problem with America today is ...
I do not believe that getting older means you’ve suddenly figured everything out.  Do you know how many topics have been identified as the problem with America?  Seven hundred and thirty four different topics, according to statistics I just made up.  I think it is plain to see that the world is very complex.  I won’t let myself fall under the assumption that the world is constantly degrading.  If anything I think they are improving (despite what the news tells you).

Kids these days have it too easy.
You may have also heard this stated like this:  “When I was a kid I had to walk to school.  In the snow.  Barefoot!  Uphill!!  BOTH WAYS!!!”  It is a tired cliché, and old people seem to jump on it left and right.  Political candidates have used it to win votes for a very long time.  Yeah, technology is making a lot of things easier (and isn’t that what we want anyway?), but there will always be new challenges to kids that their elders didn’t even have to worry about.  Like how my grandparents didn’t have to worry about getting germs from black people when using a public water fountain, but my generation is constantly assailed with negro germs.

The last good band was The Smashing Pumpkins, the last entertaining video game was Super Mario 64, and the last funny movie was Happy Gilmore.
This is a big one, and I refuse—I repeat: refuse!—to succumb to the notion that somehow I happened to be fifteen years old when all the best bands, movies, TV shows, and video games came out.  I’m not sure what causes people to think this way as they age, but I think we have all seen it time and time again.  I’m not saying I will be one of those old people who tries to pretend he’s one of the cool kids (like that guy who graduated high school two years before you, but he would still hang out in the parking lot after school, and as far as you know he still does).  I’m just saying I won’t act like I lived in some kind of magical golden age where nothing sucked.  I guess people only remember the things they like, and they replay those things in their mind over and over.  When these memories—ripened into nostalgia by years of rumination—are placed against fresh, unfiltered new media...  well, there is no contest.  In the coming twenty-five years I will attempt to be conscious of the fact that things might not have been as good as I remember them.  I have already started this process.  For instance, as much I would like to, I will not assert that Animaniacs is somehow more sophisticated that SpongeBob SquarePants, or that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has a better premise than Pokémon.  I think only the eight-year-old me and a modern eight-year-old could take up that argument.  Presumably with nunchucks and Pokéballs.

Well there you have it.  Originally the list was longer, but there was a lot of redundancy.  Basically everything boiled down to “new stuff sucks” and “there is no hope for our kids.”  I will strive to keep these campaign goals, and in twenty-five years I will present a status report, evaluating my performance in achieving these goals.  Stay tuned!

Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?”  For it is not wise to ask such questions.
—Ecc 7:10

Well it’s been a while since my last post, so for you, dear reader, I am making another.

The launch details of the Nintendo Wii were announced today:  November 19 at $250.  I’m a little disappointed.  I was really hoping for a $200 price point. Not that it matters, I’d get it either way, and they’ll probably drop the price next year (or maybe they’ll wait till 2008 for the first price drop I really don’t know).  And it’s bundled with Wii Sports, which... I don’t really care about.  The launch date also doesn’t mean much to me—I won’t be getting mine until December 25—but it seems like they should have beaten Sony’s launch date (on yours truly’s birthday) of November 17, especially since Nintendo (unlike Sony) can ship enough systems to meet demand.  But here’s my biggest disappointment:  getting a second controller (like, a fully functional one) is sixty dollars (forty dollars for Wiimote, twenty for the nunchuck attachment).  Sure, I’m still not going to be spending as much as I would on, say, a PS3 with no games or accessories or anything.  But as long as I’m going to have Wii Tennis I’d like to be able to play it with my wife, without having to spend more money on her controller than I would on a new game.

I apologize if my thoughts are overly disorganized.  I am feeling quite under the weather and debating whether or not I should tell my boss that I’m taking off the rest of the day as a sick day.  I’m certainly not in a state of mind for something requiring the level of concentration of, let’s say, refactoring a O(n²) algorithm down to a O(n) or O(n log n) algorithm (what I was working on before taking a ten minute break to blog).  But I’ve never taken time off for sickness and I probably won’t unless it’s the kind of sickness where I need to be in or near a sanitary bathroom for an extended period of time.

I recently discovered that there is a classification of political ideologies that is kinda like what I believe:  South Park Republican.  Okay so the term was coined five years ago, but I had never heard it until about a month ago.  So I thought I’d share.

Someone at work just came around asking if anyone wanted to be a model for some kind of brochures we’re putting together.  I volunteered. They had me stand in front of a whiteboard, while three other people sat at a desk, and we pretended to be in a meeting.  You know, the important kind of meeting, where proactive synergy leverages best-in-class paradigm solutions.  I’ll try to get ahold of one of the brochures and put a scan up here as soon as I can.

Before I get started I wanted to clarify that I didn’t make a post on Monday because Stephanie had made one on Saturday.  I’m still planning to make blog posts regularly.

Now onto my story.  Last weekend I went to see Thursday at Ziggy’s in Winston-Salem.  I’ve mentioned on this blog before that the last time I saw Thursday was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been too.  I was pleased to see that I wasn’t let down again.

However, I’ve noticed a pattern lately.  I’ll go to concerts, and listen to the less-than-awesome opening bands and think “Is this really worth it?  Standing for four hours just to hear some songs that I can listen to at home?”  Then the band that I actually came to see will come out, and I’ll be like “Oh yeah, that’s why I come to these concerts—these guys are awesome!”  But I’ll spare you another long, introspective rant today.

five four three two one let’s start a fire

For the last month or so, my mother-in-law has borrowed my copy of “Legally Blonde” and apparently watched it every day.  So for Mother’s Day, Kip and I bought her a copy of the movie for herself so she could watch it whenever she wants.  This also means that I will get to take my copy back to Charlotte with me, so that I can watch it.  So what do I do?  I get up today and decide to watch it right here in Newton this morning, and Kip’s dad commented that Deborah watches it like everyday. ;)  It has been awhile since I’ve watched it, and it is “super fun!!!”

Also, I’m trying to win tickets to go and see the premier of “Cars”, the new Disney movie that is showing at Lowe’s Motor Speedway in like a week or two.  The radio station I listen to in the morning on my way to work is giving tickets away by quizzing people on lines from Disney movies.  So could there be a more perfect “game” for me to play to win.  I mean, I have seen almost every Disney movie ever made!!!  What I can’t get over is the fact that people don’t know these clips.  One morning no one could figure out that this one quote was from “Aladdin”.  I mean, am I that old that the children of this generation don’t know that movie, all they know are “Monster, Inc.”, “The Incredibles”, and movies like that.  One guy even guessed “Shrek” as the movie and that isn’t even a Disney movie!!!!  The deal is that they give you three clips and you have to get them all right or you loose.  So I’ll keep trying all next week to get through to win tickets for us.  Another funny thing is that you win four tickets to go see the movie and Kip and I don’t have kids to take, so we don’t know who we would take to see the movie.  If you would like one of the tickets feel free to leave a comment with why you feel you should get one of the extra tickets.  It will be enteretaining to see your reasons even if we don’t win.

It’s that time of year again.  That week in May when I am willing to turn my TV to the abominable G4.  Yep, it’s E3 time!  And this is looking like the biggest freakin E3 yet.  G4 has 3-hour coverage of each day’s events, which I record so that I can watch all of it in 30 minutes, including the fast-forward time (yeah, that much of it is unwatchable garbage).  Sure the trailers are available on the internet, but there’s something about seeing them on TV that’s more appealing.  That, and they have had a few interesting interviews (most notably for me, Will Wright and John Carmack).

So Sony is pricing the low end PS3 at five hundred dollars!!  What are they thinking?  And if you want 802.11b (and HDMI output and a bigger hard drive), you’ll have to shell out six hundred dollars.  I think I’ll pass.  Up until a week ago, I thought BluRay was going to win over HD-DVD, because I thought that the PS3 would be most people’s first high definition DVD player.  Now I’m not sure that the PS3 will be quite so widespread, and I have serious concerns regarding the content of their bloodstream when they decided this price.  Microsoft couldn’t have asked for more.  I’m now thinking maybe I’ll get a 360 some day, after the first price drop (usually comes a little over a year after launch).  I think part of the death blow for the PS3 is going to be their cell processor.  John Carmack said the cell is much more powerful than the 360 at peak performance, but that it would be very difficult to write games that took advantage of this power.  If John Carmack thinks it is too hard to program for, what hope does Joe Developer have?

The big news of course is Nintendo.  Look at all the games they’ve got:

• Super Mario Galaxy:  A really cool looking Mario game set in outer space.  Check out that trailer!

• The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess:  Link is back and he’s not a cartoon.

• Metroid Prime 3:  Doesn’t look like a huge leap forward, but I imagine the Wiimote will make it feel incredible.

• Super Smash Brothers Brawl:  Smash is back!!  With Solid Snake??  Maybe there will be other third-party characters... Sonic anyone?

• Red Steel:  If they get the alleged control issues worked out, this could be this generation’s Goldeneye.  One neat thing I heard is that to open doors, you twist your left hand (as if using a doorknob).  I thought that was pretty clever.

With most people guessing the Wii will launch at $249 or even $199, I could get Wii and all five games I mentioned for the price of a PS3 with no games.  Seems like a no-brainer. Interesting side note: every Nintendo console system has launched at $199.

Some other games that look stupid hot (off the top of my head)- Halo 3, Too Human, Metal Gear Solid 4, and Spore (I’m looking forward to that one).

Something I haven’t seen addressed:  Link is left handed.  Will I have to swing my left hand to use the sword?  I know that pushing your right hand forward will shove someone with the shield, and that spinning your left hand does a spin attack...  What about Red Steel, do you think you’ll be able to play with your gun or dominant sword in your left hand (if you’re left handed)?  It’s an accessibility issue that developers haven’t had to address before...

Since everyone else is talking about Wii, I thought I’d weigh in.  I guess I’m a member of the group Tycho described as “people who like it because they are ‘above the fray,’” but really I think it is because I never liked “Revolution” all that much to begin with.  I’ve been worried that they were going to turn the code name into the official name, as they did with the Nintendo DS (which I still think is a pretty boring name).

When I first saw it I didn’t like it because I didn’t know how to pronounce it (my first guess was “wee-eye”, like in radii).  Once I got used to automatically thinking “we,” it started to grow on me.  I think a year from now no one will really have a problem with the name.  I mean, really, didn’t you think “iPod” was a dumb name the first time you heard it?  But it seems to have worked for them and no one really questions it now.

The thing that does bother me is the grammar.  Reading a sentence that begins “Wii is” just makes me want to hit someone with a third grade English book.  The term is likewise distasteful as a direct object: “It’s about Wii.”  I naturally want to say “It’s about Uus” or something.

One last thing- I’m going to call the controller the “wiimote.”  I haven’t seen anyone say that in any of the five or six news/blog posts I’ve read about the topic.  I’m so clever.